Happy birthday, ALIEN!

Reflections on FKA Twigs' Eusexua, Setting Boundaries, and ALIEN’s First Year

*Trigger Warning: This post discusses suicide, suicidal ideation, and mental health challenges. Please take care while reading and reach out to support services like Mindout or Black Minds Matter UK if needed.

As a long-time FKA twigs fan, her announcement of Eusexua instantly became one of my September highlights. At first, it was pure excitement for her first single release in four years - her creativity feels needed now more than ever. But it was the message behind Eusexua that hit closer to home - resonating with my own mental health journey and the birth of ALIEN.

The music video defines Eusexua as “a practice” and “a state of being”. Twigs herself refers to it as ‘the pinnacle of Human Experience’. She’s shared that over the past few years, she’s been on a huge healing journey, learning how to live in and reclaim her body again. Much like her, I’ve been on a similar path of rediscovering myself and figuring out how to truly be alive again after a difficult time.

For me, Eusexua symbolises the freedom I’ve found in creating ALIEN - reaching my own state of possibility and peace. And something about Eusexua’s release in September feels like a happy accident. As ALIEN celebrates its first birthday, it feels like the perfect moment to reflect on how far it’s come and how this space has helped me reclaim my voice and mental health.

Reclaiming my voice: The birth of ALIEN

As well as Eusexua, I can’t help but see the meaningful coincidence of ALIEN’s birthday aligning with Suicide Prevention Month. I launched ALIEN after a mental health breakdown as I was piecing my sanity back together after a significantly tough period. Until this year, I hadn’t realised Suicide Prevention Month existed. That alone highlights how deep the taboo on this topic runs, but I accept that it’s not an easy subject to discuss.

Suicide is the most common cause of death for those under 24. It’s a major public health issue that doesn’t discriminate against communities, but the stigma around it makes conversations difficult for all parties.

Just last week, a close friend rightly set boundaries with me and shared they can no longer talk about suicidal ideation due to how many people have shared their suicidal thoughts with them. And I get that. It’s worrying how many of us are surviving, not truly living.

ALIEN was created to bring light to difficult subjects while also offering a space to escape from them when needed. For a lot of us, death and suicide are inevitable topics. Finding ways to talk about them is crucial. It’s a tough balancing act; addressing the reality without letting it consume us.

Suicide Prevention Month encourages us to break the taboo and open up those much-needed conversations, so there was no doubt it was something I’d write about. Now, I feel lucky to be here, reflecting on this journey that much like Eusexua, has been about rediscovering my inner strength and reclaiming my power.

Mental health is not a sprint; it’s a marathon and I’ve tried to reflect that reality in ALIEN. Like Eusexua, it was developed over many months, as a physical and artistic quest for self-healing, rooted in my love for writing and culture.

While I’d love to post more consistently, the truth is my well-being takes precedence. The platform may not have new content every week, but that’s okay. Just like healing, it’s about showing up when you can - with purpose and intention. Whether I post once a week or once a year, I’m still showing up, aren’t I?

A safe space for marginalised voices

ALIEN is not just about my journey - it’s about emphasising the importance of a safe space, especially for those who, like me, belong to marginalised groups. I can say with confidence that I would not have been able to survive my difficult year and bring ALIEN to reality if it were not for the help of my safe space. My support system came first before health services realised the critical condition I was in and finally took my mental health seriously. 

That’s why it’s not surprising to me that marginalised communities face so many barriers to accessing mental health care - something I experienced firsthand. As a queer black person, I personally know how cultural attitudes, provider discrimination and mistrust can make it difficult to access care.

And I also know how crucial it is to have a space where you can rant, cry or ask “stupid” questions without fear of judgement. Discussing experiences and challenges that others may not understand helps to bridge the gap when your reality feels worlds apart from that of a person with more societal privilege.

Looking at my intersecting communities, the need for safe spaces becomes even more urgent. LGBTQ+ individuals are more than twice as likely to experience suicidal thoughts or self-harm compared to their heterosexual peers. Half of lesbian or gay adults have been bullied, and one in five have faced discrimination based on their sexual orientation in just the past year. For them, and people like me, a safe space is not just comforting - it’s life-saving.

Similarly, 81% of Black academics face significant challenges in their careers, from unconscious bias to a lack of community, and unclear career progression. Less than half (38%) believe they receive sufficient support for mental and physical well-being. These are not just numbers - they represent people like us who need spaces where we can feel seen, supported and valued.

So I built ALIEN to be a safe space, not just for me, but for anyone who needs to feel heard and understood. Whether you engage with ALIEN once a month or once a year, this space exists for you too.

Make a wish and set your boundaries

Birthdays are moments of reflection, and they give us permission to be selfish - at least for a day. This past year, I’ve embraced that mindset fully, becoming the “villain” in my own story - not out of selfishness, but survival.

In a world that tells us to keep giving, setting boundaries became an act of self-love and defiance. Each ‘no’ became a way to reclaim my energy and heal. In this way, ALIEN and Eusexua are sister concepts, encouraging us to reclaim and redefine power on our own terms. Like FKA twigs, I feel I’m nearing the end of one chapter of healing and stepping into something new.

So what’s my wish for ALIEN’s first birthday? A collaboration with Eusexua might be a long shot, so for now it’s to keep growing, keep healing and keep committing to this space where we can feel empowered to protect our energy.

If you’re reading this, know that it’s never too late. Your life can change. Your space is sacred. The people who fill it should bring light and nourish your well-being. Never apologise for putting your mental health first. Trust me, those who support you will never let you feel guilty for doing so.

And if you’re feeling low, give yourself permission to have a sloth day - a day to do absolutely nothing but breathe and exist. For more support, remember that support can be found in your peers and charities like Mindout and Black Minds Matter UK are always there to help.

At the end of the day, ALIEN is about keeping it real. I may not drop content every week, but that’s not what this space is about. It’s about progress, not perfection. Just like your villain era, this is about you, your peace and protecting your energy.

So tell me, how are you protecting yours?